So it was college acceptance day yesterday and I viewed heart break and joy among my friends and collegues across the nation. Some people posted it on Facebook, others sent emails, some said nothing and others are still waiting.
I saw the destiny of my future unfold as it all played out yesterday.
I watched a couple of parents question what they had done wrong trying to now fix devasted kids.
One asked for advice, and I felt like saying choose plan B. In 4 years, you will look back and say that was the best choice for her. Once the cultural snobbery rubs off and people stop asking about her choice-then she can grow and move forward. Parents sometimes feel that it reflects the job they have done and that isn’t the case. I know totally qualified children who have gone to plan B and been totally successful.
College acceptance is a game of roulette. For the parents, it reflects hard work on their behalf, but equally so, it doesn’t mean your child was a failure if the first choice was denied.
I use my brother as an example. He was denied to med school his first year. He was heartbroken. Now a decade and half later he is a successful surgeon, doing well off in life and profession. The next year he reapplied, married and started down his road.
I can’t believe how much we have grown “academically” as parents since last fall when I was panicking and stressing out about every last class and if in four years my daughter would get accepted at schools of choice.
The biggest lesson I have learned this year is to enjoy the moment. This school year has just cruised by.
When you have young children the days seem so long, on the other end high school- they seem so fast.
We are just really happy with the choices we made this year for schooling for our kids, and I imagine we will take all our children down this route regardless of what they want to do post-education.
It is so fun watching them peel their personality back like an onion layer by layer to find their God given talents.
The beauty of the East Coast is that there are so many wonderful schools all around us. I have tried to expose our kids to as many sneak peaks as possible. As members of our church, most kids just want to go to BYU (where we both went and that is definitely one of our top choices), but I want them to see the options all around them and not feel like their options are limited to one school.
I have grown in one area tremendously. I feel that experiences are just the best thing that you can give your child even more than academics. I am not just talking travel or skiing type things- although those are on my radar too, I am talking life experiences.
As I watch kids evolve into adults, I have paid particular attention to what has made them successful or not and the bottom line is home support, confidence, discipline and love from the parents makes all of the difference in the world. Nothing that we don’t already know.
The final thing is learning to learn- that is something I can’t stress enough and I will blog more about later.
Regardless of where children go post high school that is one of the greatest tools they can take with them. Learning how to learn spiritually and physically will make all of the difference in the world.
So as for now, I will enjoy the high school years, and let the future play out on it’s own. I believe the path that each path is divine and serves a purpose.
I will now just watch the process of friends as a spectator today-feels good to be in the stands!
As one of the blessed whose child got his first choice, I gotta tell you it doesn’t get any easier. He’s number three and we went through all the same nail biting. The difference is we knew that when all was done, it wouldn’t matter where he went. His desire to go was the key thing. Best of luck and enjoy those high school years (tough as they may be).
Such mature wisdom, Angela ! Loving to learn and becoming a life-long-learner is right up there with being a truth-seeker and a reality-actualizer. It is rewarding for us olders to watch you grow and develop too. Sent with love – Ann